• Wide Release
• Director: Karl DiPelino
• Written by: Karl DiPelino, Chris Ragonetti
• Running Time: 85 minutes
• Language: English
• MPAA Rating: R - Restricted
• Cast: Jefferson Brown, Darryn Lucio, Christopher Elliott, Melanie Marden, Kelly Cunningham, Katharine Jane Reid, Tyrone Greenidge, Derek Cvitkovic, Ted Neal, Heidi Rayden, Leslie Ferreira, Sarah Scheffer, Subeena Ishaq, Celia Rowen, Yo Mustafa, Chris Ragonetti, Lyanda Jackson, Helen Lamont, Merle Newell, Cindy K., James Chmiel, Rasheeda Forbes-Riley, Kevin Ling, Trevor Ziebarth, Simone Small, Michelle Smart, Ashley Van Herten

So does anyone else remember the story from the early 90s about a bunch of high school students who wagered money to see who could bed the largest number of girls before semester’s end? No, well, I do. Tacky enough to make the rounds on the various talk shows and titillating enough that numerous adult film producers devised whole set-ups around it, alas, it was only a matter of time before mainstream audiences would be treated to such trashiness. Feeling up to the challenge of giving such astute material the respect it deserves, first time Canadian director Karl DiPelino jumped in with both feet. The end result, “Pigs”, not as sleazy or nudity filled as one might think, will surely not go down as one of the Great White North’s finest efforts. The film may, however, be regarded as a fun and jovial entry in an often sour tasting Canadian film landscape – a landscape punctuated by brainy, miserable pictures so depressing they often leave you wanting to put a shotgun in your mouth to alleviate the grief.

One night while waxing on about their friend’s incredible sexual prowess, a group of college students decide to make a bet to see if their friend can sleep with twenty-six different ladies, each with a name starting with a different letter of the alphabet – or, as one of the dorm mates so eloquently puts it, “sleeping his way through the alphabet.” As it turns out, the friend, Miles (Jefferson Brown), agrees to the wager. Headed up Mile’s friend and amateur bookie, Cleaver (Darryn Lucio), the wager suddenly becomes the hottest game on campus. Good-looking Miles approaches the contest like a true professional, taking names, doing the math, and working his seductive magic until he has slowly and methodically slept his way down the list. “Some guys just have it,” one of the friend’s surmises of Miles womanizing ways. If Miles represents ‘the campus stud’ then his shy and awkward roommate, Ben (Christopher Elliott), the proverbial ‘campus nerd’, represents the flipside of the equation. Ben is a guy who could probably be quite the ladies man if only he had the skills necessary to make it work. Sadly, he doesn’t and because of it, he finds himself openly questioning the immoral spirit of the game, while simultaneously privately masturbating to photos of Miles' conquests.

Upon landing on the letter ‘X’, and the realization of the scarcity of females with the last name beginning with the letter, Cleaver and Miles find themselves up against a wall. Salvation comes in the form of a gorgeous brunette student named Gabrielle Xeropolos (Melanie Marden), who also happens to work as a mechanic. By coincidence, she helps Miles with his car – and, in turn, Miles wants to help himself to her. As if one coincidence isn’t enough, Miles’ roommate Ben also has eyes for Gabrielle, something he transmits in a series of awkward meet-cutes that only work to highlight his own social inadequacies. By contrast, Miles has no problem whatsoever in that department and before long he and Gabrielle are spending many a night together getting all romantic, something Ben can only fantasize about. In an interesting turn, Gabrielle isn’t as quick to give it up as the others, something that throws Miles for a loop and forces him to exhaust various avenues to get the deed done. Unexpectedly, the legendary womanizer of womanizers, Miles, suddenly finds himself falling for Gabrielle… or is he? Could it be that his sudden blossoming feelings for Gabrielle is just another strategic maneuver to assure himself entry into her pants, as Ben suspects, or is it something real?

After taking the time to develop two very diverse and very interesting characters, Ben and Miles -- each representing contrasting ends of the social spectrum, I was curious to see if the fillmakers would take advantage of the possibilities that existed in exploring this dynamic. Sadly, it wasn’t to be. In my unwanted opinion, much more could have been achieved, both on a dramatic level as well as comedic level, had the filmmakers chosen to go this route, especially since both characters were so clearly defined in their respective roles. Both were pleasant enough for an audience to connect with and the story, as it were, presented an interesting dilemma -- their shared fondness for Gabrielle – that could have provided an exciting foundation for outlining the various perspectives each representative of said social extreme brings to the table and how they deal with them on their own terms and in conjunction with each other.

Instead, we’re left with a film that doesn’t really know what to do with its characters once the main premise has been exhausted. Christopher Elliott’s Ben is early on identified as the film’s moral center and, more than anyone else in the film, we want to see him end up with Gabrielle. His attempts to better himself by hitting the gym and buying up a new wardrobe speak to a deeper and very real social problem, one that places more emphasis on exteriors than on what a person is like beneath the surface. Interestingly, that’s where the film becomes almost duplicitous in its stance, especially when you consider the bizarre ending and whom Ben ‘the loser’ ultimately ends up with. “She's way out of your league,” Miles tells Ben, suggesting that he should stick to his own kind – a sense that Gabrielle herself seems to reflect in one ugly sequence that halts whatever romantic pulse the film had. The fact that Elliott’s character, lacking any clear motivation either, is relegated to a simpering, backstabbing idiot, also speaks to the filmmakers obvious contempt for folks who aren’t as socially advanced as others. Furthering this is the notion that the moral comeuppance that Brown’s character has coming to him throughout the film never really comes. Nope, instead we’re left with Brown smirking into the camera, coldly registering the heaps of female road kill left in his wake. Miles is the type of character that in any other movie, we’d be demanding his immediate evisceration, but here, thanks to DiPelino, a guy who obviously identified with the Miles character, he's the film’s central focus, undeservedly so.

The film seems to hit its stride about half way in when Miles finds himself reluctantly falling for Gabrielle. A big problem however is that the audience will have a hard time sympathizing with Miles as his motivations and sincerity will constantly be in question. At the same time, whatever likeable qualities that Gabrielle possessed soon fall by the wayside as audiences question not only her decision to get intimate with a jerk like Miles, but her treatment of Ben, a guy who, up to that point in the film, the audience had grown to care for.  The one promising thing about the film and something that has instigated numerous threads on the imdb.com message boards even a year after its initial release is the film’s ambiguous ending which remains entirely open for interpretation. Without having to resort to a spoiler warning, I’ll suggest is that folks head on over there and check it out. One suggested ending, if true, speaks to a much darker film than even I was willing to give credit.

Jefferson Brown (2007’s “Kaw”) has been appearing in movies for nearly a decade, so it's hardly a surprise that he’s able to slide into his role as Miles with such ease. This is a not an easy task, taking a character that is essentially a snake and making him somewhat sympathetic, even likeable, but Brown seems up for it. As smooth as freshly whipped cream, Brown slithers into his early scenes like a blue collar James Bond, seducing women with such style and grace that you buy into it almost right away. He’s also pretty proficient at comedy as evidenced in a series of skit-like bad dates including one that ends with Miles flipping off the girl, assessing her worth as an 'N' to be not quite worth his time or energy. Christopher Elliott (2004’s “The Long Weekend”) as the quiet loner Ben is possibly the most interesting character in the film, until about the final stretch. Sadly, the director loses sight of his worth, or maybe he never even realized it in the first place, which would explain why the character was relegated to slimeball status and conveniently slipped into the background. Where Marden and Brown’s scenes together fail to ignite any genuine heat or interest, by contrast, Christopher Elliott’s early romantic sessions with the lovely Melanie Marden (2004’s “Hustle”) reeked of the kind of sweetness, honesty and depth that this film so badly needed. So, it only makes sense that director DiPelino would choose not to pursue that avenue. Ug! Darryn Lucio (2007’s “Final Draft”) as Cleaver feels less like a character and more like a device and overtime he becomes as tiresome as his repetitive dialogue. Special kudos to Kelly Cunningham as Wendy 'P', one of Miles many discards. In what amounts to about three minutes of screentime, she shows herself to be not only beautiful but delightfully sweet. Kelly's character is also, possibly, the most likeable character in the whole film. Not sure if that's a good thing.

As I said earlier, this isn’t a great film but if you’re feeling like something Canadian and you just can’t stand the usual depressing lot emanating from the Great White North of late, then “Pigs” is just the diversion for you.