Posted March 14th, 2010 by Jamie Lisk

• Straight to Video
• Director: Aaron Robson
• Written by: Aarob Robson, Adam S. Leslie, Lee Ann Riddle, Christine Locker
• Running Time: 93 minutes
• Language: English
• MPAA Rating: UNRATED
• Cast: Ashlie Victoria Clark, Billy St. John, Lauren Zelman, Prentice Reedy, Emily Lucas, Brandon Michael

 

Aaron Robson's financially abject "Wages of Sin" took eight producers and five writers to bring it to life, and for anyone unlucky enough to have sat through it front to back, this won't be much of a surprise. Despite some rather stunning cinematography from Tim Otholt and Chris Reilly, "Wages of Sin" doesn't manage to elevate itself from the incomprehensible drivel it eventually turns into. The blame falls directly into the lap of first time director, Aaron Robson - a guy clearly over his head. This is a prime example of one too many creative hands adding their two cents and a director with no clear vision. The outcome is an incomprehensible mess of cliches and piss poor pacing, and something you would do well to avoid. 

 

 

Sue (Ashlie Victoria Clark) doesn't recall much about her childhood, but that's reasonable considering that she was removed from her biological family when she was all of nine years old. I guess it's also reasonable that she might be somewhat psyched when the last remaining member of her estranged biological kin dies and she's left with a quaint old house in the country. Sue likes it because it has the potential to open a door to her childhood. It might also help her explain those strange dreams she's having... maybe even fill in some blanks with regards to her long deceased mom. Her friends like it, of course, because secluded farmhouses tend to make for good party pads. That's where we are when the film begins, with Sue, her amiable boyfriend Ron (Brandon Michael), her girl-bud, the doltish Jane (Lauren Zelman), and Jane's bellicose, pothead boyfriend Taylor (Prentice Reedy) travelling to said place along those deserted, tree skewed back roads of which, as a killer-in-the-woods genre lover, I get a boner for. In fact, the road trip section of the film, as cliché as it is, is actually my most favoured part of the film. First, it allows the audience to acquaint themselves with the group who are, for the most part, likeable. Nope, no screaming matches to contend with a these folks generally seem to enjoy being in each others company (yes, I'm looking at you "Undertow"). Also, the Washington countryside (where the film was shot) has never looked better, thanks mainly to Otholt and Reilly's polished work behind the camera.

 

 

Tired from an all-night driving marathon and unable to find a motel, Sue and her friends decide to pull off to a remote field in the country to crash for a couple of hours. The next morning, Sue is stirred from her sleep by a crazed collar-wearing loon carrying a Bible. In first of many illogical character decisions, Sue quietly emerges from the car to take stock of the spooky looking Preacher who seems to have crossed the expanse of field in the time it takes most people to blink. Soon, the others are joining Sue outside the car, wondering the identity of their strange voyeur, who quietly turns and walks off into the forest without so much as a 'heyall doin'?". This bizarre, dream-like opening seems to set the tone for the rest of the movie.

 

 

The weirdness continues when the only radio station Ron can get in his old Buick shitbox is some fire and brimstone minister preaching an end of times prediction. "We must be in a dead zone," Ron says. Ah, yes. The fact that in this day and age Ron has neither a CD player nor a cassette player, is made slightly plausible when you consider the giant un-fixed crack spider-webbing itself across the windshield. Later, Sue and her pals stop at a gas station and quickly encounter some well-meaning but creepy-as-fuck locals who toss them words of warning to "Stay away!" As usual, the teens heed the locals cautionary words with a shrug and an eye roll... and off they go. As it turns out, Taylor forgot the food (not the pot, mind you), so Ron suggests that they stock up on chips and pop for the weekend. Not sure why, but I liked that fun little detail, maybe because the same thing happened to myself and some friends one weekend on our way to Algonquin Park. Later, Sue observes a strange little girl with blood streaming from her forehead off in the woods. Curiously, she's the only one in the car who sees her. Boogah! They reach the farmhouse just in time for Sue to toss her cookies all over the front lawn. Visions of bloody little girls and cross-eyed Southerners will do that to ya, I'm sure.

 

 

Needless to the say, the place is quiet, quaint, and buried deep in the forest and the kids are in heaven. The group begin to unpack, settle in and get ready for a night of partying, sex and general craziness. Sue does some house browsing while Taylor and Jane break out the pot and booze and the.... aw fuck... Ouija board. A Ouija board, really? Anyways, things go from weird to weirder to downright confusing as Sue's past begins to unravel parallel to the story at hand, brought upon when Sue locates some old family pics in the basement. Revelations of a twin sister, of a rampaging, murderous Christian zealot grandfather (Billy St. John, in a bland typically crazy-eyed performance) and of cannibalism - apparently Sue and sis ate mommy at the behest of loony gramps - all meld into a haze of flashbacks, religious hypocrisy, yappy Ouija boards, a freezer full of human remains (enough to make Dahmer envious), possession, axe murders and even a guardian angel ghost child. Eventually the tableau of weirdness culminates with a near shot for shot recreation of the "Here's Johnny" axe to the door sequence from "The Shining". I'm all for homage's, but this is ridiculous. I'm pretty certain that if Robson could have included that now iconic line without fear of being sued, he would have.

 

 

Aside from some paranormal twists and turns "Wages of Sin" ultimately devolves into yet another derivative slice of slasher genre tedium in which a possessed crazy guy (in this case, the ghost of psychopathic morally-obsessed reverend) stalks some young folks in the woods with an axe. That's it. Whatever fun that could have been derived from that paranormal premise is sunken under a sea of mystifying sequences, strange logic (Ron insists that they stay at the cabin... why, again?) and some questionable editing (creating some notable and serious continuity issues). The whole thing arrives as mostly perplexing, overly contrived and not the least bit enjoyable. Even the closer, which should have at least made some attempt to explain things, ends up leaving you in the lurch. Interestingly, I was somewhat shocked at how much the first half of the film reminded me of "Dimples" and the second half reminded me of "Shower of Blood". It's almost as if somebody watched both films and attempted to merge them with "The Shining". Granted, I doubt very much Robson and his team of writers ever heard of "Shower" or "Dimples", it doesn't change how similar the three films are to each other. Probably would make for a fun four movie marathon, although plenty of alcohol would be required, I'm sure.

 

 

As I said, the acting isn't great. Ashlie Victoria Clark makes for some yummy eye-candy, and works as a suitable lead, but she's nothing to write home about. Somehow she managed to parlay this acting debut into a modest career appearing in two more films, the last of which is Luigi DeSole's nearly impossible to find "The Seer". Billy St. John, the crazy grandfather, has appeared in over thirty films beginning with the culty 80s flick, "The Outing". Sadly, outside of some early good scenes, he is primarily reduced to running around the woods all wild-eyed while delivering lines so bad that I'm St. John himself cringed as he spoke them. Lauren Zelman is a cutie who began her career appearing on "The Ashley Simpson Show" (no, I'm not joking) and appears to have ended it with "Wages of Sin"; actually is quite good as the ditzy but sweet Jane. I liked her, and I honestly didn't want to see her die - even when her character began to fall victim to the contrivances of the plot. The same goes, I guess, for Prentice Reedy and Brandon Michael. Brandon's character gets the biggest shaft, as he's forced to endure an awkward sequence early on in which Sue rebukes his proposal of marriage, and later, falls victim to the film's most strained contrivance, namely his decision to stay at the house even though all the "bad shit" is clearly emanating from the house. Somehow, through it all, he manages to remain somewhat likeable.

 

 

I wanted to like "Wages of Sin" and, for the first twenty minutes or so, I did. The sense of dread was there... briefly, but that dissipated pretty quickly as the cliches (so so many of them) and various kooky plot points (and contrivances of said plot) began to play out. Avoid!