• Straight to Video
• Director: Garrett Clancy
• Written by: Garrett Clancy, Tom McCurrie
• Running Time: 90 minutes
• Language: English
• MPAA Rating: UNRATED
• Cast: William Smith, Joe Estevez, Patrick Thomas, Emmy Smith, Janet Tracy Keijser, Ronald Drewes, Jake Sorrentino, Calvi Pabon, Sally Mullins, Seamus Clancy, Paul A. Cox, Brittany Baquet, Paul Hellweg, Andy Lytle, Christa Pietromonaco

Not to be confused with Stephanie Beaton's “Tales From the Grave” (also starring Joe Estevez), “Grave Tales” (aka "Killer Story") is DV-legend Garrett Clancy's second or third kick at the anthology film can, one that begs the question: “Why?” He's done it before and with much better results that it's questionable why Clancy would want to crank out yet another anthology piece, one that is out and out clunky junk, even by his sometimes low standards. Ug! Two mediocre, less-than-scary stories (based loosely on Edgar Allen Poe's work) and a weak wrap-around featuring a couple of past-their-prime actors hamming it up, that's essentially “Grave Tales” in a nutshell.

About the only thing this film has going for it and the main reason why I elected to give it a shot is Emmy Smith. For those not in the know, Emmy Smith was an up and coming young actress who cut her teeth in a handful of straight to video movies, most notably “The Zombie Chronicles”, a film that made me a rigid supporter of the actress. Playing a journalist in search of a mysterious town only to stumble upon supernatural forces, Smith elevated herself above the material and proved to me that she was an extraordinary talent, even if the flicks she was opting to appear in were… unremarkable. “Grave Tales” is just one of those films, sadly. In kind, Emmy is actually allowed a moment to act here, something she does quite well when she’s charged with carrying the second emotional story almost entirely on her own.

In the first scene, two 70s/80s era b-movie legends William Smith and Joe Estevez (yes, brother of Martin Sheen), as Monty and Fortunato, gather at a small bar in hopes of meeting a fellow friend for their annual gathering. As the story goes, every year the three friends - all successful authors - get together to share pints and stories in an effort to be judged and, ultimately, win cash. Yes, they apparently impart a bunch of spooky stories and a half dozen tipsy magistrates determine which is the scariest. Right off the bat, neither man seems impressed by meeting location. Not sure why, as I’ve always been partial to quaint out of the way diners, generally found at the backend of some dusty country road. A lovely young barely-dressed woman ("Ted Bundy" star Susan Featherly), just wandering by, peaks the guy’s interests enough that they at least decide to give the joint a chance. Through strains of tequila shots, Smith and Estevez, looking to impress the mysterious young lady, and while waiting for their absent friend (an ancestor of Edgar Allen Poe, no less) to arrive, agree to each relate a spooky story to their whopping audience of two.

Estevez’s story involves an author Mitch ("The Gymnast" star Ronald Drewes) suffering from terrible writer’s block, stemming from his tumultuous personal life. His marriage is on the rocks, for one, and his career as a screenwriter, which looked promising twenty years ago, when he sold a script for an episode of “Cop Rock”, has all but dried up. To make matters worse, Bernie (“The Halfway House” star Janet Tracy Keijser), Mitch's sadistic wife, hasn’t aged gracefully, something that our author can’t seem to get his head around. Not really, but in keeping with the story I’ll accept the idea that Janet is hideous. Anyways, as his home life grows more stressful and he feels his chances of success and happiness slipping away, he finds himself gravitating towards the past, namely in a series of photos of his wife as she looked (and acted) when he first met her. He soon finds himself using her photograph as a muse for his suddenly revitalized writing. Sadly, it isn’t long before his fawning over old photos evolves into something, well, unhealthy – even homicidal. When Bernie and her lesbian lover (Calvi Pabon) arrive to physically remove Mitch from his home, that’s when things spin out of control, fostering the surprising darkly comedic twist ending.

The story imparted by gravel-voiced William Smith (1974's "Grave of the Vampire") is easily the one I liked the best, and not just because it starred Emmy Smith in a lead role, but because it actually re-works an old Edgar Allen Poe story into a contemporary setting. As with the last story, this too involves a marriage in distress. Martha (Emmy Smith) and George (Patrick Thomas) were once a happily married couple. Both were teachers with a blissful life together stretched out in front of them, that is until the day George suffered a horrible brain aneurysm leaving him a mere childlike shadow of his former self. That vibrant, intelligent man that Martha fell in love with instantly replaced by an infantile hulk that she barely recognizes. Unable to feed himself, George is forced to tap the floor with a baseball bat in hopes that Martha will nourish him, a ritual that only works to push Martha closer and closer to the drop-off of her own sanity. “Pavlov’s dog,” Martha refers to herself at one point.

Compounding the situation, Martha’s professional attempts at finding proof of an ancient Indian culture are proving futile, thus hampering her ability to maintain funding for her various expeditions.  At home, she’s also running out of capital, as the insurance company won’t acknowledge her husband’s worsening condition and she’s forced to feed her husband cheap dog food. An impulsive romance soon blossoms between Martha and a handsome colleague, forcing her to ponder various avenues of ridding herself of that 300-pound matrimonial anchor around her neck. There’s something to be said for emotional turmoil that Martha goes through as she contemplates actually murdering her husband. One minute she’s keen to kill him and the next she’s pleading for his forgiveness at even thinking such a thing. This is great stuff. Emmy Smith (2002's "Demon's Kiss") is a fine actress and she pulls this off with some real aplomb. The shockingly gruesome ending, involving Martha’s self-guilt factoring into her own confession, is a direct homage to that old Poe story, ‘Cask of Amontillado’, I mentioned, one that I’ve always considered one of his best. This story, unto itself, isn't bad.

Ending the festivities on an interesting note, Monty and Fortunato suddenly realize that it wasn’t their friend that called them out to the old tavern but rather someone from their past, someone with a score to settle. Yup, karma is a bitch, especially when it swings back in your direction. As if conjured up on a moment's notice, the final seconds are shoddy at best, even incorporating footage from what must have been a much more expensive film into its jaw-droppingly bizarre closer. I'm guessing that Clancy must have asked these two old pros out for an afternoon of shooting, not giving a second thought to their actual storyline. It shows. Can't say I blame Clancy because I know that if I had William Smith and Joe Estevez secured for an afternoon of filming, the last thing on my mind would be giving them something to work with. I'd be too shocked that they actually said yes. Clancy seems okay with having them improvise, or, in the case of Smith, actually reading his lines off of a piece of paper.

All in all, this final segment best sums up the 'ho-hum' vibe running through the film. One that suggests that nobody, especially not the director, seemed to care all that much for the project. Smith and Estevez both seem to be having a great time (something rare for the usually grumpy William Smith) leading me to believe that they did it for the free alcohol they were being served. The rest of the cast probably assumed that any project, even this one, would look good on their filmography. This lack of true passion for the project shows through into the finished product. Emmy Smith is good, as are a few other folks here, but a few good performances and a couple of legends with beer buzzes does not a good movie make. Heck, there's not much left to suggest even seeking it out.

For more information on this film check out the imdb page. Mill Creek Entertainment is also offering the film in their Mortuary of Madness 50 movie boxset and have set up a page for it on their site.