• Straight to Video
• Director: Jim Larsen
• Written by: Jim Larsen
• Running Time: 68 minutes
• Language: English
• MPAA Rating: UNRATED
• Cast: Doug Ciskowski, Caleb Kreischer, Rob Hayward, Kathy Wittes, Kris Arnold, Cindy Geary, Mojo Nixon

With only ten minutes passed since I pushed play on Jim Larsen’s “Buttcrack”, I could already feel myself getting that old cabin fever-vibe, like everybody and everything was just way too close and I couldn’t breath. The feeling, I’m sure, is shared by Larsen’s central character and moral pivot, Brian (Doug Ciskowski) who fakes congenial while trying to make some alone time with his girlfriend, Annie played by Kathy Wittes (2001's "Head Games"). The problem is not that living room they are nestled in is too small or that the hallways are too narrow, the problem is Brian’s elephant-like roommate Wade or 'Buttcrack' as his friends secretly call him. Wade is one of the universal slobs everyone knows but wishes they didn’t. He’s loud and obnoxious, his food-stained clothes don’t properly fit his over-sized body – leaving a certain part of his anatomy exposed enough times to garner him a nickname, and his dim-witted personality is so in-your-face that you can’t help but acknowledge it, even if you’re doing your darndest not to.

That’s the freakshow that poor Brian is forced to live with day in and day out, and, when the film commences, he’s pretty much at wit’s end and ready to explode. He’s able to tolerate Wade’s jumbo presence simply by reminding himself that once the semester ends, he’s out. Sadly, that doesn’t bode well for the ‘now’, as Wade can’t seem to get the hint that Brian and Annie just want to be alone -- to do things that couples do. Every attempt to smooch is immediately thwarted by Wade who rumbles into the room bellowing some off-tone song he just thought up, collecting laundry, or commenting on a movie playing on the television, occasionally adding his own observations about the film, “the violence is integral to the story” he mutters. After several minutes, Annie accidentally catches a glimpse of Wade’s buttcrack and immediately falls ill. She leaves Brian alone to stir in his anger and ever-growing sense of resentment towards his roomie.

The next day, after enlisting the help of a friend and making arrangements to have Wade secretly whisked off to the movies, Brian plans the ultimate romantic evening for him and his girl. He desperately wants to propose to her and foresees this as the only opportunity he might have before the semester ends. Sadly, the blissful day ends horribly as Wade and his ever-present buttcrack interrupt the couple’s fun as they slow-dance in the kitchen. One glimpse of the Wade’s gruesome fissure and poor Annie is bent over spraying gravy-strands all over the kitchen, her new engagement ring and across Wade’s ‘good clothes’. After escorting his horrified girlfriend out to her car, Brian returns to clean up the vomit. Wade hops in the bathtub to clean off the gook. The blaring radio nestled on the edge of the tub seems to be a metaphor for the fury building inside Brian, who charges into the bathroom to turn it off only to have it slip out of his hands and fall in the water, electrocuting Wade in the process. Brian reassures police that he ‘found Wade like that’ and the men-in-blue are only too happy to oblige him, closing the case neatly - even adding words of caution regarding electrical appliances being placed too close to the tub. At the funeral, which is livened up greatly by a fire-breathing Southern Baptist-type named Preacher Man Bob played by Mojo Nixon (1991's "Rock 'n' Roll High School Forever"), Wade’s strange sister, played by Cynthia Geary, confronts Brian with a dreary message of doom. Dressed entirely in black and hiding at a distance from the gravesite, she hints to Brian that she’s aware of the true circumstances behind her brother’s death and that she holds him entirely responsible.  She imposes a Voodoo spell on Brian, a curse prompted when her brother’s nickname ‘buttcrack’ is cited 13 times in a single breath. Of course, how long do you think it takes for someone to utter ‘buttcrack’ 13 times in a single breath? Not long. Actually, in this case it’s only a matter of minutes.

Returning to their now Wade-less home, Annie and Brian elect to get married, despite the fact that their friend was just put in the ground only hours prior. Preacher Man Bob, who seems to spout a never-ending supply of proverbs, agrees to marry the couple on a whim. Why not? He’s around anyway? Could that be a cautionary word from director Larsen about marriages and funerals being the same event only with different colors? In keeping with the film’s running joke, a resurrected and ghoulish-looking Wade, who simply wants to get back to his old Atari, interrupts Annie and Brian’s happy honeymoon by placing himself in their way. In a brilliant move, Larsen plays with the audience and the genre by having the zombie – Wade, wanting to simply forgive and forget, assessing that he’s really not all the mad at Brian, something his Voodoo priestess sister won’t tolerate. Nope, revenge is on the table and she wants healthy portions of it. Of course, all types of clichéd zombie goodness follow, as characters bounce around fending off the lovable dolt who simply won’t die. Interestingly, the film ends on a bittersweet note with Wade hunkered over Brian’s body bawling over his dead friend – a poignant note, that places more humanity in the hands of a zombie, than in any other characters in the film.

The thing I enjoyed about “Buttcrack” is that it actually manages to successfully merge the roommate-from-hell comedy sub-genre with the zombie horror sub-genre into a cohesive and occasionally funny piece. The results are surprisingly original, however, fraught with all the usual chestnuts found in film’s in both sub-genres and a certain stagnation credited to a director who, seemingly, could care less. The fact that the film arrives at its conclusion with no real villains is yet another thing to be commended, or criticized – as it seems to underline a major problem with the film as a whole and Larsen’s style of directing. There is a real sense that Larsen’s creative capability was absent, evidenced in the bland cinematography and in the way the narrative lacked energy, that it, like a zombie, simply slogged onwards until it reached where it had to go, in this case, the end credits. There’s never a sense of urgency or purpose in either the story or the characters and by the third act, and the arrival of the zombie-Wade, things should be speeding up but, in actuality, they actually start slowing down. Interestingly, it takes an appearance by cult-icon Mojo Nixon to help ratchet up things, but even he can’t do much. 

Doug Ciskowski as Brian is without a doubt the moral compass of the piece, and, despite his challenge to visually project emotion, we do get a sense of his sadness at losing his friend, his personal and moral confusion regarding his death, and his ever-present devotion to his girlfriend. Ciskowski’s work in the early portion of the film is absolutely perfect, though, watching and empathizing with his building inner-frustration and understanding completely what leads him into that bathroom, seething with rage. The other half of that scene is Caleb Kreischer playing Wade. So annoyingly over-the-top is Caleb’s character that he forces the audience to cringe every time he appears on the screen, more from the broken record quality he presents than anything psychologically subterranean. His physical quirks don’t sustain him for the picture, sadly, and, before long, we’re left to simply to observe unemotionally as he does his repetitive gimmick. Quirks does not a character make. Cynthia Geary, who plays the brooding goth sister, is more memorable in her ten minutes of screen time, in that she’s able to project her own inner turmoil. In a sense, his sister, the brooding Cynthia Geary, is more interesting, even though she’s given all of a bout ten minutes screen time – at least, with her, we get a sense of her inner turmoil.

Not a great film and surely one I won't go out of my way to recommend. Find it but don't look for it.