Posted April 13th, 2008 by Jamie Lisk

• Wide Release
• Director: Jim Wynorski
• Written by: Jim Wynorski, Steve Mitchell
• Running Time: 71 minutes
• Language: English
• MPAA Rating: R - Restricted
• Cast: Kelli Maroney, Tony O'Dell, Russell Todd, Karrie Emerson, Barbara Crampton, Nick Segal, John Terlesky, Suzee Slater, Mary Woronov, Paul Bartel, Dick Miller, Gerrit Graham, Mel Welles, Angela Aames, Ace Mask, Arthur Roberts, Paul Coufos, Will Gill Jr., Lenny Juliano, Angus Scrimm, Morgan Douglas, Toni Naples, Robert Greenberg, Maurie Gallagher, Jim Wynorski, David Del Valle, Julie Corman

 

“Chopping Mall” is a film that has garnered a place in history as a cult classic seemingly based on its eye-catching uber-hip sounding title, or at least that’s what I could gather after seeing it. Directed by b-movie stalwart Jim Wynorski, the film is a mess, neither delivering the proper comic tone nor the proper horror tone and happy to linger somewhere in between. At best, it’s a meandering one-note excursion that has been championed by genre fans too young to understand its ineptness and nostalgic for their childhood. At its worst, it’s the kind of film that folks will be shelling out money to discover what the commotion is about only to realize that they’ve thrown hard-earned money away on simple, overblown, hype.

 

 

Judging from an introductory press conference, Park Plaza Mall has seen many computer-oriented revisions the past few years but equipping the store with some new top-line high tech security robots, is sure to take the cake. These futuristic robots, a merging of R2 D2, a cyclon from Battlestar Galactica and Robocop, are designed to perform the function of any typical security guard, however, they are also fitted with some cool and dangerous gadgets not usually found on typical security guards, including lasers, bombs and tasers. These extra weapons seem to run counter to the designer’s claims that the bots are non-lethal. Coincidentally, the very night that these three super-bots known as “Killbots” are to go online officially and guard the store, four couples, all employees at Park Plaza in some capacity, have also decided to throw a beer-bash at the furniture store where the guys all work. Also coincidentally, there’s a huge whopper of a thunderstorm that rocks the town. A couple of errant strikes knocks out the power to the mall and sends a whole bunch of electrical volts down the line permanently skewing the wiring of the three bots. The three tweaked out homicidal trash-cans subsequently kill their operators, known as “Protectors”, before turning their murderous intentions towards the mall’s cleaning crew and those regal party-goers. After that we’re pretty much off to the races, as the partygoers must defend themselves against the marauding hard-wired-to-kill bots until the mall re-opens and the steel security gates, housing them in, are lifted. For plot, that's as good as you're going to get. It's one-note narrative simplicity is helped along by plenty of plot contrivances and a volley wonderful coincidences, not inlcuding the ones mentioned above.

 

 

The three indistinguishable bots are nothing more than tiny rolling tanks with virtually no personality and nothing to do whatsoever except wander around checking stores and offing anything that crosses their path. They are hardly frightening and incapacitating them is quite easy, or at least that's what it seems considering one girl is able to stop it with a can of dumped paint. Only slightly more interesting than the three Killbots are the partiers who at least give us somebody to root for on the surface -- although just barely. Adhering to the rules laid out before them in slasher films like “Friday The 13^th” and “Halloween”, the partiers violate all the sacred rules of the genre (ie smoking, drinking and having some pre-marital sex) and must eventually get their moral comeuppance in the form of their brutal murder. In keeping, the audience relation to the group is purely superficial, and is comprised only of the basics like knowing which is the funny one, which is the nerdy one, which is the smart one and which is the virgin (aka the final girl). There’s not much else and with most of the characters, as thinly drawn as they are, it’s nearly impossible to sympathize with them simply because the decisions they make are so astonishing – running contrary to their most intrinsic survivalist instincts. In fact, the group’s attempts at survival are thwarted at every turn due to silly plot necessities and anyone keen to this will surely find them self rolling their eyes in utter disbelief. The folks here, although playing it totally straight, simply don’t act the way real people would in a similar situation. The tone of the film, walking a thin rope between comedy and horror ultimately never comes together properly and the audience is left questioning director Wynorski's decisions. Even the distribution of the kills is laughable, namely the way each of the various couples are killed in unison.

 

 

Although I found much to fault about the film, there’s one area I can’t really complain about and it’s the work of the various actors present. Across the board, everybody appears to be having a great time, regardless of whether they're hamming it up or playing it straight, their overall joy at being apart of the production is obvious and infectious. Kelli Maroney is perfectly cast as the quiet, shy and virginal, Alison Parks. Having gained some notoriety appearing in such films as “Fast Times at Ridgemont High" and “Night of the Comet”, Kelli, with her cute, oval face and radiant eyes, conveys a spunky intelligence and innocence that makes you just want to root for her. Casting her in what amounted to the “final girl” role was a no-brainer. “Head of the Class” alumnus, Tony O’Dell, plays her blind date/love-interest in the film, Ferdy Meisel. Some will notice that he’s playing virtually the same character that he played on the television show; however, here he seems to inject him with a certain amount of awkward sweetness.

 

 

The remainder of the cast includes Nick Seagell played by Greg Williams (1984’s “Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo”) who appears to be, possibly, the most intelligent one in the group until the plot intervenes and relegates him to a blabbering mess. Barbara Crampton of “Re-Animator” and “Puppet Master” fame plays his girlfriend, Suzie Lynn. Unlike so many of the conniving ice-princess characters she’s played in the past, here, not only does she bare all, she also seems to be having a great time doing it – something that flows through into her character. Russell Todd (1981’s “Friday the 13^th 2”) plays Rick Stanton, the perennial bad-ass-type, who in a fashion keeping with his character gets a kamikaze send-off detonating both himself and the robot in a hellfire explosion.  Whoops, I guess I should have put up a spoiler warning but, alas, what’s it matter? His wife, Linda, played by Karrie Emerson (1985’s “Evils of the Night”), seems to exist solely to add to the body count. My favourite couple of the group are of course the ones that bite the dust first. John Terlesky (1985’s “Secret Admirer”) plays the goofy, gum-smacking Mike Brennan. Terlesky is having so much fun here that at times you swear he’s going to break out in laughter. His girlfriend, Leslie Todd, played by Suzee Slater (1986’s “Las Vegas Serial Killer”) also seems to be having plenty of fun and their banter feels not only sweet and playful but also genuine. The scene where she, after flashing her breasts, sends him down to a vending machine to get her some cigarettes is hilarious. Suzee also has what amounts to the best kill scene, for sure.

 

 

It’s pretty obvious right off the bat that Jim Wynorski doesn’t expect anyone to take any of this seriously, or at least that's what I hope. From the endless sight gags (sped up footage shows shoppers at the mall rushing a boy on an elevator) to the ridiculous one-liners to the goofy voices of the bots (apparently Wynorski), it’s quite clear what Jim and Steve Mitchell, the co-writer, must have had in mind when they conceived and shot this flick. Although, as I stated earlier, it never comes together properly tone-wise and, more often than not, it leaves you stunned at its ineptitude. Even the concept of robots killing people in a mall is something that should evoke laughter but for me, I'm groaning at how silly it all sounds.

 

 

To liven things up, Wynorski has some friends and former co-workers from other pictures, do brief cameos. Dick Miller (1993's "Pulp Fiction") is electric here, hamming it up as a grumpy old codger janitor who reluctantly stays behind to mop up a spill and pays for it with his life. Also look for Mary Woronov and Paul Bartel reprising their Paul and Mary Bland characters from “Eating Raoul”. The two of them appear only briefly but have some of the funniest lines of the movie, even more so if you know who they are. Also, to his credit, Jim makes great use of his shooting location, The Galleria – an actual mall in Sherman Oaks, California. His cinematographer and him obviously worked extra hard in some all-nighter dusk til dawn shoots to get some really great footage in as many locations around the mall as possible. 

 

 

Regarding the special effects, they are definitely lacking. Despite the fact that they are sustained moving objects, obviously remotely controlled, the robots still look clunky and many of the action set pieces involving them are badly choreographed and awkward. The robots aren’t necessarily the most frightening of villains either, especially since they move so slowly and their aim is terrible. It's hard to create tension and fright when there simply is none. So much of the time, they are firing off endless laser beam rounds but nothing at all gets hit (blamed partly on some really poor post-productoon laser beam effects). Eventually, it becomes tedious and somewhat boring. Overall, this film absolutely does not live up to its hype but if you just have to see it, just make sure you don't spend much money acquiring it. You'll be sorry, I promise.