• Straight to Video
• Director: Jim Mallon
• Written by: Larry Edgerton , John Galligan
• Running Time: 85 minutes
• Language: English
• MPAA Rating: R - Restricted
• Cast: Mark Jacobs, Lisa Todd, Patrick Danz, Sara Hauser, Christopher Whiting, Don Winters, Paul Drake, Bill Lowrie, Sandy Meuwissen, Dale Dunham, Paul Heckman, Don Cosgrove, Bonnie Lee, Greg Nienas, Julie Vortanz, Donald Franke, Ryan Franke, Dana Remker, John Galligan, Ron Kaiser

Originally conceived as “Muskie Madness”, the film’s title was changed to “Blood Hook” when Troma agreed to distribute it. Such as it is, “Blood Hook” ranks up there as one of the silliest slasher films I’ve ever seen. Personally, for about 60 minutes, I actually thought a giant fishhook was jumping out of the water and killing people. It wasn’t until late in the film that we realize that there’s a man at the other end of the line, reeling the victims in to their certain death. Dear God, this film is preposterous. Executive-produced by Troma head Lloyd Kaufman (2008's "Crank: High Voltage"), “Blood Hook” is one of those rare instances where implausibility actually casts a shadow over the film‘s enjoyability. Give me mega-sharks and giant octopuses but a deranged man casting a line clear across a lake in order to snag a guy on a boat -- that’s strangely too much for me to take.

"Blood Hook" opens with a flashback, a young boy watches as his father is dragged off a dock into a river, never to be heard from again. Jumping forward seventeen years, the film picks up with that same young boy, now a man, Peter van Cleese (Mark Jacobs), arriving back in town with his carload friends just in time for the local’s yearly big fishing competition. Right away, we discover that the backwoods locals don’t like their big city music, as it apparently stirs up the cicadas in the lake causing them to hum insufferably. Cleese, still beset by memories of the strange way his father died, and his friends, ultimately settle into Cleese’s pop’s old cottage, to begin their weekend of fishing. The groundskeeper, Wayne Duerst (Paul Drake), along with his Vietnam War-damaged son, Evelyn (Bill Lowrie), don’t take kindly to Cleese and his pals, and staunchly quits upon their introduction. It isn’t long before people start getting snagged -- and when I say snagged, I mean snagged. While fishing or hanging out along docks, random folks suddenly find themselves being hooked by a rather large red and white treble hook lure. As the various victims, always out of sight of prying eyes (although one woman is pulled off a dock during a late-night social), struggle to free themselves, the whirring sound of cicadas fill the audio masking their screams. A big question is abruptly raised; are the cicadas and the seemingly independent killer fish hook related?

When one of Peter‘s pals turns up missing in one of his boats, suddenly bathed in blood, Peter takes it upon himself to investigate the fishy circumstances. The local sheriff (Paul Heckman) is a nice enough sort, but he is overwhelmed by the death’s, as well, he doesn’t want to disrupt the big fishing tournament (shades of “Jaws”), an event that brings in a nice revenue for the ailing lakeside community. As the sheriff drives around debunking Peter’s various theories (the scene with Evelyn and his rifle was very interesting, and strangely reminiscent of the old “Andy Griffith Show”) , things quickly spin out of control as the bodies begin to pile up in a huge way, including a near murder of a child. Yup, a giant fish hook is whacking people left, right and center with cold and merciless precision of a… fishhook.

Eventually Peter gets wise to a kindly bait shop owner, Leroy Leudke (Don Winters), whose experiences in Korea, has left him forever changed, namely with a metallic plate in his skull. Somehow, the plate reacts to the whirring of the cicadas causing him to lose his mind and turn…dun dun dun.. homicidal. As it turns out he’s the man on the other end of the fish hook. And we’re actually supposed to accept that he’s able to toss a giant lure across long distances (one fellow is way out in the middle of a lake), hook said person, pull said person into the water, reel said person in while they flail and fight, rope said person, and then cart said person all the way back to his shack where said person will be chopped off for fish food… sometimes in broad daylight… during a massive fishing tournament. Seriously, now! Come-the-fuck-on!!!! As I said earlier, preposterous! Now I love the notion of a killer fisherman using the tools of his trade -- it’s actually an original idea, for sure, but the way its handled here is inherently absurd.

A bunch of subplots including a burgeoning love-story between Peter's friend, Finner (Christopher Whiting) and a toothy tournament hostess, Bev D (Sandy Meuwissen) actually gets good footing, only to be knocked on its ass when Evelyn appears to remind Bev that, yeah, she’s married. Ug! Another one involving Wayne Duerst and an accidental shooting, which resulted in a man with a bullet lodged in his back, reeks of a much better, powerful story (and some really fine acting) but its all to no avail, as it doesn’t really go anywhere, other than adding dimension to the varying characters involved. One of the lasting effects of the film is the idea that war doesn’t end when the men come home. This seemed to at least one of the central themes running through the film. While “Blood Hook” does exaggerate or play on such anguish, the fact of the matter is that a few of the characters in the film are returnees from the nation’s various wars and each one of them is changed in fundamental human ways.

Regarding the acting, none of it was truly impressive. Don Winters and Paul Drake, both first time actors, do have some good moments but that‘s about it. Trivial bits help distinguish Mark Jacobs (1986's "Touch and Go") and his posse from each other; namely, one is deep; one is shallow; one has nice hair etc.. This lack of ability seems to go all the way up to the top, as Director Jim Mallon, best known for working on Mystery Science Theater 3000, seems to be teaching himself how to make a movie as he‘s making the movie. On the flip side, the cinematography by Marsha Kahm (2004‘s “Thirst“), also working on her first film, is exquisite.

All in all, I'd recommend avoiding this trash! Don't get hooked in.